Two Merry Widows and a Thrice Divorcee
We are "Two Merry Widows and a Thrice Divorcee!"
Together, we navigate loss with humor and insights on our podcast. Our goal is to encourage our listeners and each other to overcome grief, find courage, and embrace life again. If you're going through a tough time right now, know you're not alone. Please join our community of listeners, and let's find hope and healing together.
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Disclaimer:
This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and not a substitute for therapy. Please seek professional help for your specific situation.
Two Merry Widows and a Thrice Divorcee
Triumph of Companionship in the Face of Personal Loss
On this episode we will introduce ourselves and share our reason for starting this podcast.
If you like the music played on today's episode, check out 'Like It Loud' by Dyalla on YouTube.
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Have questions? Send us an email at merrywidowsxdivorcee@gmail.com.
Disclaimer: This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and not a substitute for therapy. Please seek professional help for your specific situation.
We are two Merry Widows and a Thrice Divorce. Together, we navigate loss with humor and insights on our podcast. Our goal is to encourage our listeners and each other to overcome grief, find courage and embrace life again. If you're going through a tough time right now, know you're not alone. Please join our community of listeners and let's find hope and healing together. Thank you for joining us on our podcast today.
Speaker 1:I am here with my very dear friends, bridge and Judy. We are here to let you know that we have some things we'd like to talk about, but first things first. We'd like to introduce ourselves. My name is Laura Mazellis and I will be your host today. I'm here because I lost my husband in 2021. He was a sudden death and so therefore, we were. I can't even tell you it's still hard to talk about, even though it's been two and a half years. We have a son. He is 18 now. When Al passed, he was just turning 16. And so we've done many, many years of trying to recover from this horrible event. But we're here today to learn how to move on, and I would like to introduce you to Bridge, who will explain to you how we met seven months later.
Speaker 1:My name is Bridget Miles. I lost my husband in the same year. Laura lost her husband in September of 2021. And we live right down the street from one another.
Speaker 1:So right after my husband passed, it was Halloween night and Laura was walking by with your dog Were you walking your dog? And I was shouting her name, but I was saying Lori, so she was ignoring me. So I went up to her, touched her on the arm and said Hi, and she said, oh, were you calling me? My name is Laura, not Lori. And I said, oh, I'm very sorry, I was trying to be a jerk. I know it was.
Speaker 1:Actually it was a very comical introduction and embold, very comical. Embold because I just said guess what? I lost my husband too. He passed a month ago. Maybe I should get your number, maybe we would be good support for one another. And that was over two years ago. And we have become very, very good friends and that's part of the reason why we're here doing this podcast, because we talk a lot about, you know, our loves, our husbands, the loss of them, and what we're going to do moving forward. And so we have another girlfriend. That is my girlfriend, judy Beck, and I've known her for almost 20 years now and she has experienced some loss in her life also and I'm going to let you introduce, I'm going to let her introduce herself and tell you about her losses.
Speaker 2:Thank you, bridge. I'm I'm happy to be here with you guys today. We're happy you're here. My name is Judy Beck and I am a thrice divorcee. Bridge and I have known each other, like she said, for almost 20 years. After my second divorce, I moved up the street from her, unbeknownst to each other, that we were living right up the street from each other until we found out on Facebook when I posted something. She's like oh, you're right, it was actually Snapchat and it was no. Snapchat wasn't around then, it was Facebook 20 years ago, no, 10 years ago.
Speaker 1:10 years ago it was Facebook, are you sure?
Speaker 1:Because it was because that was before you went off Facebook, but it but it was giving me your location. Yes, because I was tagging myself Whatever Okay, I'm talking wherever my Okay. It was tagging her as living up the street and in an old apartment complex that they didn't have that didn't even go by that name anymore, but I recognized it from having lived in the same neighborhood for so long and I think I reached out. She did and said all right, I'm going to let you introduce yourself, but are you up there in those apartments? You're so brave, I'm so brave.
Speaker 2:She is brave. But we met through a mutual friend many years prior to that and we would always hang out. The three of us would always hang out and do stuff together happy hours and stuff like that. So we became very familiar with each other and then when we realized we lived right up the street from each other, it was like a win-win for me.
Speaker 1:Serendipity, serendipity, and then.
Speaker 2:I got a dog and she had a dog and we would meet at the dog Park and you would bring your little dog over to my house, or my little bag of wine and I didn't have to dry, which was great. But yeah, and we stayed in touch ever since and she's been with me through the last.
Speaker 1:And then she got remarried. Trial and she got married again and left me. She left the neighborhood, but we stayed friends. I left the neighborhood.
Speaker 2:We stayed friends and we stayed in touch and we were both going through some stuff and we reached out again and we got even closer. And then her husband's passed away and then I was there. It was very important for me to be there for her and I was, and we became even closer. And then my husband woke up and told me he loved me, gave me a kiss and two hours later came back and told me he was leaving me. So that's how.
Speaker 1:That would be husband number three. Hence the title of the podcast the Thrice Divorce.
Speaker 2:Yes, and she's been my rock since then. Same girl, same. Help me get through it. That's why we're here. That's why we're here, and then I met Laura because she was going over to Widow's Friday. What would you call that? What was it?
Speaker 1:Happy, happy, happy. What were we calling it? Wining Widow's Friday, or something, or?
Speaker 2:something like that. I was like well, can I come? And she's like well, you're not a widow. And I'm like, but I lost a husband.
Speaker 1:I did not say that. I know she did not say that. I said of course you can come. She made fun of me, though.
Speaker 2:Probably did, you did, and then we were like, let's all three get together. And then we did.
Speaker 1:And that's how we became two Mary Widow's and a Thrice Divorce. Yes, there, you have it, I got it. Now, what's our motto? Life, love loss and rebirth. That's it. That is the mantra that we are trying to live by these days. Should it be life, love loss? It's life, love loss, and rebirth and rebirth, Rebirth. Re-do the intro. What did you say? You lost Love, life loss and rebirth. You're going to have to re-do the intro. It's very important that we get that in order.
Speaker 1:Life love loss and rebirth, and we're all going to get tattoos.
Speaker 2:L, l, L R.
Speaker 1:L L L R. I don't believe them.
Speaker 2:Triple R, triple R, l cubed R. There you go With a little microphone. There you have it.
Speaker 1:I got room, laura. Maybe that'll be our logo. Right, that should be our logo.
Speaker 2:We just designed our logo, ladies, we did, we did, and our tattoos, and we have the artist that can draw it up.
Speaker 1:That's good, I like it. I like it. L cubed R. Well, we've got to record it, so I can't forget it's official.
Speaker 2:Are we recording? Yes, we are.
Speaker 1:Okay, now what? Don't worry, you can cut out all the silence.
Speaker 2:She can cut out the silence, she can cut out the flubs, and then we can have a bloopers reel.
Speaker 1:Bloopers.
Speaker 2:Bloopers, bloopers.
Speaker 1:What should? Our time mass bloopers today should just be Well. So do we want to discuss just the pain of the loss, or is that too heavy? That's too heavy for today. Okay, what do you guys want to talk about? That's because we're too sober. I was going to say this does go better with wine, doesn't it?
Speaker 2:We need to go take all of this out, because I really like it.
Speaker 1:We need the wine. Life is very different. Life is different than what I expected it would turn out to be when I was what 10 in kinetic head, dreaming about what my life would be. Gally, I just turned 50. She sure did.
Speaker 2:I lost Al when I was 48.
Speaker 1:I mean, yes, I was lucky to have him for 24 years, but what am I going to do for the next 20?
Speaker 2:Right, In your experience it's different, because you met young married and you know we're married to one person, married to one person and you had your child together. You had your life together. You were happily married with I mean as happy as any married couple can be because we have our ups and downs, right. That's just the ebbs and blows of the marriage.
Speaker 1:It's a fun roller coaster.
Speaker 2:We just go up with it and down with it and we just keep on rolling. And then Bridgette has been married twice and she lost her second husband. I've been married three times and lost three husbands, but they're still living. All my exes live in Maryland.
Speaker 1:She look at her face right now. So life going forward? I don't know. I will be the student that. I just don't know. My husband died Suddenly. I was 51. 50 when he passed. He had just turned 60, so I had just turned 50. Are you?
Speaker 1:10 years to be right, because then it would be three years. Girl, you are 53. Well, I was 51, because it was 2021. So I was 51. I really thought that my second husband, you know we saw a future where we weren't going to have to work anymore, we were going to retire. He effectively was retired and we had talked about doing some things. We wanted to buy a different house so we could have a big yard for our dog and get more dogs. We wanted to travel. He liked to travel. We talked about a lot of things we were going to do and then one morning he said he couldn't breathe. I called 911 and that was the last time I saw him alive. So life going forward is very different and also very unknown. Yeah, it's been two years and I'm really still just trying to figure it out. You're still processing. Yeah, it's a good way to put it, I'm still processing.
Speaker 2:Everybody processes it differently. My process was I packed his stuff.
Speaker 1:Judy. I'll tell you this story. It was hilarious. Judy, the third husband, left about a week later. He came back to the house and he was going into the bedroom to get some of his stuff. And Judy said where are you going? And he said into the room to get my stuff. And she said oh, all year in the basement.
Speaker 2:Yes, packed up, and I even put it in a box to the left, to the left.
Speaker 1:Within a week, everything he had in the living portion of that house was in the basement. Yes, that's how Judy processed it. I processed it, processed it as quick as I could. This is the thing, now that the podcast is considered explicit.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Did I just ruin it? Shit, is that a dirty word? No, I don't think so. You do it on cable, right, we can bleep it. Let's bleep. We'll bleep my foul mouth. I'm very sorry, laura we have to bleep it.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, we haven't dropped the F bomb.
Speaker 1:Yet I'm trying real hard not to. That's probably because I'm not drinking, but I could work that word into just about every conversation I have, but I'm trying really hard not to. I'm trying to behave, yeah. So I think with this podcast we also want to branch out to the community to see what your experiences are and how you overcame being alone. I don't know. Learning how to be a single parent.
Speaker 2:I think that's the other thing we all have. We all have in common is that it all happened and we're all relatively the same age. Me being the oldest in the group but married and divorced at 55 three times is not how I saw my life planned out. I mean, I never thought I'd get married to begin with, because I was never. I was always afraid I was going to be the old maid Not anymore. And here you are.
Speaker 1:You overcompensated.
Speaker 2:I think you're right. I think I did. I overcompensated, I blew that goal. Yeah, well, I did tell you what my dad said. He said I think you just like playing in the weddings. Yeah, the weddings are fun. The weddings are fun. Yeah, then more.
Speaker 1:But yeah, you know, being that we are, we are all relatively young, Laura. Being the youngest, I mean losing your husband at 48, losing your husband at 51, being divorced three times at 55. It really changes the outlook of the rest of your life.
Speaker 2:The scope yeah, yeah, because do I want to do it all over again?
Speaker 1:You're not going to?
Speaker 2:No, I mean yeah, not even, no, not even that.
Speaker 1:I won't allow it.
Speaker 2:I know it's not rigid, approved bridge, not approved. But do I want to be? Do I? Do I have a relationship with somebody else and just keep it very casual and this or do, because I don't even know if I want to live with somebody else. I don't even know at this point in my life I'm capable of commingling on a full time basis.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean, I don't have a conversation. How do how do any of us feel about? I was making decisions without the other person and that was so very weird for me and I also would be in limbo because I couldn't make the decision, so we just did there.
Speaker 2:She don't have to soundboard, you don't have that partner anymore that you can say well, what do you think? Is this a good idea, or whatever? And then you had you had Max to think about what his you know, guiding him through his loss and keeping him on track to finish school and what does he want to do for the rest of life. And you've had that partner you could talk to about it with, and now you don't. So where do you, you know, and do you want to even have another partner and discuss those things with them?
Speaker 1:I don't even know. You know how do you For Max? He was just like I don't think that every mother talks to her son like I do, Like I'll run upstairs and guess what I learned about the mic today. What, mom? Let's hear it. He is your other. You know, he is your other voice, other person in the house, and so that makes perfect sense to me.
Speaker 2:I talked to my dog. I talked to my dog.
Speaker 1:Literally. I think the neighbors think I'm crazy because I'll be outside in the backyard and say well, princess, what do you think we should do with this piece of whatever I found in the yard? Should we clean this off? Should we throw it away? And I'm literally talking to a dog. I don't see anything wrong with that. I don't at all have dogs. So that is my sounding board in the house right now my dog, and it's kind of sad.
Speaker 2:But Well, I do have my adult daughter living with me and her boyfriend and their child, and it is a blessing and a curse, maybe, but I love seeing my granddaughter every day, I love interacting with her, so that's, you know, the best part about it. But sometimes I think she forgets whose house it is, or maybe your daughter, yeah, yeah, well, my granddaughter, she just rules the house, she's the granddaughter. But I mean, I feel like I can't make any decisions on what I'm going to do until I know what she's going to do, because I feel like I, when I got, when I was going through the divorce and didn't know if I was going to be able to keep the house and how I was going to manage to pay the bills and this and that on my own, her biggest fear was where am I going to live? How is this going to affect me? Which I get it because she's got a child that you know, that she's got a she's supporting and has to provide shelter for. So, um, and Maryland is not an easy place to live.
Speaker 1:Maryland is not.
Speaker 2:It's an expensive state, it's very expensive, it is, you know. So there was a lot of uncertainty with her and what. What I was going through was affecting her and I had to. So I felt like I had the weight of the world on me, because if I couldn't refinance the house and keep the house, what was I going to do with my three dogs? What was I going to do with my daughter, my granddaughter? Where will we all go? What were we going to do? Um, and it all worked out that I could, that I was able to keep the house, and and so everything kind of stayed the same. So it's been, it's been nice, cause at least I know, you know, I do have them around if I need anything.
Speaker 2:But, at the same time, I want my. I like my. I'm really starting to like my independence.
Speaker 1:But that was a difficult time because there was a lot of uncertainty. I remember, and you know, not only were you processing the loss of a husband, um, you were. You were dealing with the still being a parent, having your daughter, even though she's in her twenties, in your house. So all of your decisions affect your daughter, your granddaughter, and so you have to deal with all the practical implications of everyday life and being a parent, but also trying to process heartbreak really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a tough time. And then my dad had a heart attack. The very next day, the same weekend, he left. My dad had a heart attack and ended up in the hospital and didn't know what was happening there, and you know that's a lot. It was, it was a lot to process in a short period of time and, just like a sudden death, is a lot to process. It was a very chaotic year, yeah, I think. For all of us it's just been chaos.
Speaker 1:Now it's starting to settle down and I know I was in a very deep depression for at least a good year, Am I? I don't know? I'm still very sad, but I have been getting therapy help for almost two years now and so I think it is helping me change my views. Like, if I'm having a bad day, I'll just think about why am I having a bad day? Is it because of the situation? Is it because my mood, or you know, I'll try to flip the script and then rewrite it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, everything has. You know, for every action there's a reaction, and for every reaction there's an action. And so when we, when things come, we sometimes have to flip it, because otherwise we get stuck in these cycles of depression. And because I mean, this was the first time I've ever been medicated for depression, because I just couldn't handle it and I was crying. You know, you could say good morning to me and I would just start falling and I'm like, why am I crying? But I was, I guess, processing the loss in my way and you know, I just couldn't deal with it anymore. So my doctor put me on it and I tried to go off of it and I just started crying again and I didn't know why I was crying and I was like, oh, that's because I've been off my meds.
Speaker 1:But it was working though. Okay good.
Speaker 2:Don't be afraid to take it if you need it, Because I mean I take a very low dose and I don't think I even have to increase it. And he did put me on some anxiety medication, but that was as needed. And I took myself off of that because he's like do you need any more of this? I'm like, no, I'm really trying not to take that anymore. And I was only taking it to sleep at night, to get me through the night, but that one was. I was like, no, I don't want to take that one anymore. But antidepressants have been those godsend.
Speaker 1:I started taking antidepressants about six months after Mike passed and my doctor. It wasn't my idea. I've had the same doctor for 15 years, maybe closer to 20. And so I was very close with her. And I mean when I told my doctor that my husband, I had an appointment and I went in to my appointment and I told her my husband passed and she welled up with tears because she knew some of the things I was struggling with with him to begin with, because he was getting ill, he wasn't perfectly healthy, and anyway she made me come in every three months. I'm like, why am I coming back in three months? And she said, just because I want to check on you. And at one point she said I told her I'm like I'm just I'm not functioning well, I'm not dealing with everyday life and I take care of my mother and I'm like I'm just having a very difficult time just processing and functioning in everyday life. And she did put me on antidepressants and I'm still on them.
Speaker 2:And yeah, I agree If you need a little help you know, and I don't know that I'll ever want to come off of them at this point. I mean, I told my doctor.
Speaker 1:Is it okay for me to stay? I don't know. I don't have an ideal anymore. Everybody I know is on antidepressants.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean I was just worried about the long term side effects of being on it because of my other health issues so, and I take a lot of medications, so I have to worry about, you know, drug interaction and stuff like that. But it has not, I mean, it really has been for the best. And hey, they have a mouth there, single, ready to mingle. No.
Speaker 1:Oh my goodness, that's not going to happen.
Speaker 2:That's another podcast. No, no, but I mean, I just it definitely helped.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So what techniques, laura, do you think you have used to try and just kind of deal with the difficulties of functioning with everyday life, probably doing too much so that I'm distracted, and I think that's something I've been doing very regularly for two and a half years. Well, your house is beautifully clean. No, no, I do not go in Max's room and don't go into the basement. Well, he's 18. And we only have one working bathroom. Because, life keeps coming at you.
Speaker 2:I know Well, and that was me. I had to totally like my house didn't pass inspection for the refi Right, so the stress of that. And then I had to put another $10,000 into the house just to save the house, so I could keep the house. Was it even worth it? I mean, I'm grateful now, but back then those were all the things that I had to think about. Do I want to put another $10,000 into this house and stay, or am I better off selling and moving somewhere else? What am I going to do with the dogs? Because I have a nice yard, so it just really it was a lot to think about and life happens.
Speaker 1:And life keeps coming at you.
Speaker 2:I mean, we're all one toilet break from disaster I only have one bathroom From having a meltdown. I would really be in trouble if my bathroom went out and it leaked.
Speaker 1:Do you have a skylight in your living room? No, I do not Like I do, don't have that. Get it fixed someday.
Speaker 2:I do have a plethora of paint samples on my wall because I hadn't decided what color I wanted to paint my living room yet. So I do have, and it's been like that for almost a year now. So I'm like I have picked the color. I just painted the kitchen, I painted the kitchen cabinets, I painted the bathroom, I painted the bathroom cabinets.
Speaker 1:Oh, you are a doer, so she is a doer, yeah.
Speaker 2:So now I've finally decided on the color for the living room, but that's going to be like an indoor project, because I figured I can wait until, like, probably after November, after Thanksgiving, probably November, january, I might do it.
Speaker 1:Well, I think that's a healthy response. Projects, Remodeling, I do, yeah, I mean I totally I don't want to do any of it but right, I mean, I bought new furniture, yeah, I've done nothing I had to.
Speaker 2:I mean, I just had to make changes.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Because, I stand, I felt the same way and I know this seems like yeah, you did that. Duh, I got a whole new bed. Yeah, got rid of the entire thing from top to bottom and got a new bed. It was all mine. No history.
Speaker 2:Well, that was probably a good thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was such a project, though, and what was it? A month or so after, you know, the funerals done and all these things were, you know, checkmarked off for all the end of life duties that you need to deal with, I, my whole family, was a little worried about me because I would get into these projects and I couldn't stop and I would literally pass out on the bed. You know, vertical, not vertical, but you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like you're not sleeping on your pillows, you're sleeping side and I would just be completely and utterly exhausted because I just can't stop. I couldn't stop. I still fall into that trap every once in a while. But what are?
Speaker 2:you going to do Right. And sometimes it becomes when is it going to end? Or is it going to end? Or you're in the middle of a project and then another project pops up Like, oh well, while I'm doing this, I should do that. That's how my kitchen cabinets got painted, because I started painting the bathroom cabinets. Then I'm like, oh, what if I put this color in the kitchen? Is I like this color? And then it just kind of, can snowball, like that. And then I get on these and I, you know, I just get on these, not hairs or rants, but I just get caught up in it and I'm like, okay, I can't finish until I stop now, or I can't stop until I finish, you know. And then you, you know, I've been known to stay up all night painting glasses.
Speaker 1:And doing crafts. I'm not going to lie, I'm a little bit jealous. If that's an unhealthy tendency, I'll take it, because I have none of that. I've done no projects. I can't even think of a project to do that I want to do. I pretty much have a hard time keeping up with laundry. If I have two clean baskets of laundry and I do mean baskets, because they don't get folded and put away very often I feel like I've accomplished something for the week, because I am the opposite, apparently, of these two. When I am overwhelmed or depressed or I do nothing, I just turn into a vegetable.
Speaker 2:See, I got, I got, I got to keep moving. I wish I had that problem. Yeah, I mean my ha. For a while there my house was super clean because I was sweeping and vacuuming every day, but I don't do that as much anymore, but I'm constantly.
Speaker 1:you could have come to my house, since your house was too clean.
Speaker 2:You could have come to my house, I wouldn't say it was too clean. Well then, I go outside and I have to clean up after the dogs and I have to cut my grass and I struggle with all that. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean I have to do it. Should I tell my mailman story? Yeah, go for it. Oh, my goodness, I feel so bad. I completely shell shocked the mailman the other day because I was out cutting my bushes and trying to dig up some stuff out of my garden and my front yard. In my garden Everything is overgrown and looks horrible.
Speaker 1:And the mailman, jokingly, he went to deliver a package next door and he jokingly said oh, your husband, you need to tell your husband to do that. And for whatever reason, without thinking, I stopped and I looked at him and I said my husband died two years ago. The poor mailman was like shell shocked and he was like oh my God, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. And I said no, I'm like I'm not upset, I'm like I didn't mean to blur that out, because that's an odd thing to blurt out when you're just trying to make a joke and go through your day and he's mama came over, give me a little hug and then start telling me a little bit about losing his mother.
Speaker 1:And I think that's one thing that almost all adult people and sometimes younger people, we've all lost somebody, and someone always has a story about death and losing someone and the memory of that person and how it's still there. And he told me you know, his mother died 20 years ago and he still thinks about her every day. And I'm like because I think that's just the way it is, I don't think. And he said I'm still not over it. And I said I don't think you ever get over it. I think that's the thing with death you never get over it. You just learn to live with what the new normal is. So me and the mailman had quite a deep little conversation there in the middle you had a bonding moment.
Speaker 2:In the middle of his day, but uh, but in Barlow it probably made his day.
Speaker 1:I mean, you know, should we tell him about the podcast?
Speaker 2:A little, I didn't go that far.
Speaker 1:But you know, a little social interaction for the mailman in the middle of the day. But I don't know why I just blurted that out like that, because it jars people. When you tell people, when you blurt something out like that, you know like oh, my husband died two years ago. They their eyes just open wide and their mouths drop and they're like, oh, I'm so sorry and it's okay. I think the point I don't. You know, I appreciate people's sympathies but it's after two years, you know, you get used to the idea. You know, still learning, still dealing, still figuring out the new normal, but it gets a little easier to say my husband died two years ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Whereas when he first died, I couldn't even you couldn't say the words. I couldn't say the words. I mean, I literally was every day, was just crying. Yeah, I remember the day after it happened and all the medical folks left, the policemen left, but the psychiatrists left and just left there alone and I just literally curled up on the sofa and just breathed. Something like a deal. Yeah, I cried, and I still can cry, almost at the drop of a hat, yeah, but can we talk about how I found out about Mike's death?
Speaker 2:Yeah, sure, we were supposed to go to lunch, so I call. I texted her and said, hey, how about if we go to the Eastern Shore for lunch today? And she said girl, I got some bad news MK died today. And that was all she said.
Speaker 1:That was my husband's nickname. We called him MK. His name was Mike and we called him MK.
Speaker 2:But I was like so I called.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry I dropped that bomb on you, like that.
Speaker 2:And I called her and she didn't answer the phone and I texted her back and said girl, you can not just drop something like that on me and then not pick up the phone when I call you and she's oh, I'm so sorry. My sisters were here and I was like as long as somebody's with you. That was. My main concern was that you were not alone, but I was just like you can't do that.
Speaker 1:And I still remember texting that I really do because I think I was still in a state of shock and you had to open.
Speaker 2:the way it came across. It was like girl, I got some bad news and that was how I was envisioning you saying it. And then, as I'm reading it, I'm going what? Is that what she's saying.
Speaker 1:Because I didn't. I don't think I knew, and it took me a long time to write that text, because I kept thinking well, I can't go to lunch today, something has come up that's not right, and I erased it. Well, I need to talk to you, something has happened. And I kept writing a line, a text, you know a line to text, and I kept erasing it. And then I just thought to myself I just have to tell her. So I'm just like hey, girl, mike died. And I do believe I was still in shock. I was still in shock.
Speaker 2:It took us a year later to get our lunch over and we went over to the gym. We went over to St Michael's. We just went over recently to St Michael's that was where we were going to go that day. I was like let's run over to Kent Island either Kent Island or St Michael's for lunch and spend the day just driving and just clearing our heads.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it was that day, that morning, that it happened, and several after, for a long period after, I think. I was in shock.
Speaker 2:But we have a lot going on in our lives and I think we're all off to a good start in rebuilding, because I think now it's a rebuilding year for us, and whether we choose to date or not, date or just to get one with our lives, just reintroducing Bridget to society again, because she's been cooped up in our house forever. That you talk about anxiety? I think you've mentioned anxiety. I know she's got anxiety. I have some sort of anxiety, but mine's probably more PTSD than anxiety from what I've been through PTSD of divorces.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Divorced PTSD. I've had divorced PTSD from three bad marriages but I mean they weren't all bad but at some point they just broke down and I think anxiety and how that has affected you in moving forward, that's a good topic too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so how are we gonna wrap up this episode?
Speaker 2:Our very first episode, our very first episode. I think it went great, ladies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they guys did great too.
Speaker 2:Think we can do this again. Yeah, I think we need to just keep being comfortable. I think we can do this again.
Speaker 1:All right, well, I'm game, if you are.
Speaker 2:I'm game.
Speaker 1:I'm game, I'm hooked. We'll see you next time, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for listening to Two Merry Widows and a Thrice de Forcée. We are just getting started and plan on releasing a new episode every other Wednesday. Our social media channels are being built and you will be the first to know where to find us, so stay tuned and thank you for being our very first listeners. Bye.